Someone stole MY couch

Wah! Someone stole my couch! I spied it from my balcony in the trash on Saturday night and was certain it was red velvet (and you know by now my near-obsession with velvet). When it was still there the next morning on my way to coffee with a pal (and I affirmed that it was, in fact, red velvet, and gorgeous at that), I felt quite sure in my bones that it was mine, that the trashing Gods had deemed it mine, that it would still be there upon my return from coffee.

Well, the very moment I was mentally rearranging my apartment coming back from coffee, the garbage Gods struck me down for my presumption! I rounded the corner expecting to see my sofa waiting for me (I knew I could work my charm and get some helpful soul to carry it up to my apartment with me) --- and it was gone.

Alas, the red velvet, the good bones, the lovely shape - all these wondrous traits obviously did not go unnoticed by some fellow style diva or duke in my 'hood. I have learned, alas, never to be too smug in my trash karma. May red velvety (there is a story behind this verbiage, just you wait as I redeemed myself the next night) rest in peace in its new abode.